


Prelude

by AsadMinQamar (orphan_account)



Series: MalkinVerse [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-20
Updated: 2012-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 08:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AsadMinQamar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to Wither.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taking Flight

**Summer 2009, Moscow  
I. Taking Flight**  
All the Russian players, no matter where in the country they’re from, eventually make their way to Moscow during the summer. It’s got everything- the girls, the drinking- the high end night life that only exists here in the nation’s capital.  
  
Sasha figures that nothing much will come of seeing Geno slithering into the same night club he and Alex are currently owning. He tries not to stare and it’s hard because there’s a sudden shift in the crowd and all eyes are suddenly on the tall, dark hockey player with two gorgeous women on his arm ordering a round of free drinks for everyone at the bar. And he hopes Alex doesn’t notice, but Alex always notices things like this.  
  
“Dozens of clubs and he chooses this one,” Alex grumbles bitterly in his ear, “I’m gonna-”  
  
“Stop it, Alex,” Sasha says, effectively cutting him off with a quick kiss, hoping to defuse whatever foolishness is brewing in his head, “He probably didn’t even know we were here.”  
  
Alex rolls his eyes and takes a long gulp from his drink. He’s drunk by now- god knows he’s had enough to put a regular person under the table a few times over, and that makes him volatile.  
  
“Whatever,” he replies, “Everyone knows we’re here. Everyone that matters.”  
  
Sasha can’t fight that logic- it’s true. But that doesn’t mean Geno came here specifically to start shit. That kind of thing is reserved for the man currently leaning across him and stealing his drink.  
  
“So maybe he did know, but it doesn’t have to ruin the night. Why don’t we just go back to the hotel and-”  
  
“Run away?” Alex sounds scandalized and this is the sort of thing Sasha wanted to avoid. “Don’t be naive, Sasha. He’s here because he wants something and I’m not going to let him have it.”  
  
Sasha steals his drink back with a scowl- there’s nothing left but ice at the bottom of the tumbler and going to the bar for another one is too much of a hassle.  
  
“Well here’s your chance to put him in his place,” he says, putting down the glass with a sigh, “He’s coming over here.”  
  
The change in Alex is immediate, shoulders getting stiff and jaw jutting forward as he clenches his teeth. Sasha tries to ignore the way Alex reaches an arm around his waist and pulls him closer and he hopes no one else notices because this isn’t a friendly sort of protective, it’s obvious that it’s much more.  
  
Geno somehow manages to lose the girls between the bar and one of the standing tables at the edge of the dance floor and he approaches with a wide grin. He’s the spitting image of a man on vacation- without a care in the world and he doesn’t care who knows it.  
  
He either chooses to ignore Alex’s arm around Sasha or he’s trying to piss Alex off on purpose because he goes straight to pull him into a tight hug, ruffling his long fingers through his hair for extra measure.  
  
“Sasha! It’s been a while,” he says, beaming, “Have you visited your family yet?”  
  
Alex’s fingers dig painfully into Sasha’s side and he tries not to wince, but it’s difficult and he’s not sure he’s done a good job of hiding it because Geno’s gaze flickers over to Alex for a second.  
  
“Having a good time taking care of Russia’s big hero?” he smiles impossibly wider, a hint of malice hidden behind his glittering eyes and it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Sasha can feel burning rage radiating from Alex like fire and they're all lucky to be in a crowded place because Alex has never been good at keeping his temper in check.  
  
Sasha, however, prides himself in being slightly more level headed than both of them and as Alex opens his mouth to say something that will probably get all three of them kicked out and banned, he slides his hand across the table and knocks his drink to the ground. Even over the music, the shattering is clearly audible, breaking the tension as well as the glass.  
  
“Clumsy of you,” Geno snorts, “How much have you had to drink?”  
  
“Not much,” Sasha lies, “But it’s gone to my head, obviously. We were actually about to leave.”  
  
If Alex has any objections, they’re silenced by the bone chilling glare Sasha directs towards him. Unfortunately, Geno has no such scruples and he reaches out to squeeze Sasha's shoulder.  
  
“That’s too bad, I was looking forward to catching up,” he says, thumb brushing along Sasha’s jaw, “I guess there’s always next time.”  
  
As soon as Geno has detached himself, Sasha’s reaching down and taking a tight grip on Alex’s hand to pull him through the crowd. It’s made difficult by the fact that Alex is being stubborn, but at least he waits until they’re mostly out of earshot to gripe about what a killjoy Geno is and how he’s still the better hockey player and he could totally take him in a fight.  
  
When Sasha can’t take anymore, he leans over and hisses in his ear, “Don’t make a scene-” but Alex will have none of that. He lets the door slam on his way out, cursing loudly into the chill air and for a second, Sasha thinks he might not just let it go. But the the night calms him and he takes a deep breath.  
  
“Let’s just go back to the room,” Alex says, drawing Sasha close and swinging an arm around his shoulders, “We can party by ourselves, yeah?”  
  
They take a cab back to the hotel and somewhere along the way, Sasha convinces himself that the night is over- they’re just going to go to bed and maybe Alex is drunk enough he won’t even care about this in the morning. He’s proved wrong before they get to the room in the elevator and Alex is gripping his wrists so tight it hurts and he isn’t kissing Sasha as much as he’s suffocating and marking him with too many bites to his lips and jaw, down to his neck and there’s going to be a mark tomorrow and for the next week probably, skin red and tender because Alex can’t stand having anyone look at him and think they might have a chance.  
  
There’s something to be said for the small hours of the morning in Moscow. At this time, there’s no one going in and out of their hotel rooms. The people that stay out late won’t be in for hours and everyone else was in bed long ago. Sasha’s grateful for that much because it means there are no witnesses when Alex wrenches him down the hall, footsteps a bit too heavy from vodka and shooters.  
  
The door to their room opens and they stumble in, letting it slam shut behind them without a care in the world and Alex’s hands are already tugging at the bottom of his shirt, thigh sliding between his legs and right there- it feels good and it shouldn’t because it’s too much too fast, but a whine vibrates in Sasha’s throat and he lifts his arms to let Alex pull his shirt the rest of the way off.  
  
His wrists end up pinned to the wall above his head and Alex isn’t kissing him anymore.  
  
“Were you impressed?” he asks, eyes glittering and tone dark. “You think Geno’s hot stuff?”  
  
Sasha doesn’t know how to respond, so he doesn’t. Instead, he rolls his hips forward, sucking his lower lip between his teeth and he doesn’t want to talk about serious shit right now. He’d rather let himself sink into whatever rhythm Alex decides to set.  
  
He likes sex with Alex. Rough, vanilla, on the floor, in a bed, kitchen table, whatever. But it’s different when Alex is drunk like this- not quite unbearable but it pushes the limits in a way he can’t really explain because it isn’t bad, it’s never bad. It’s the lack of control that gets to him, how even though he’ll never say no to Alex, he probably wouldn’t stop if he did. It takes him back to the rockier parts of their relationship, in the beginning when it was just about the sex without the emotional attachment and it hurts because it makes him think that maybe, deep inside, Alex never really let go of the mentality that it’s always going to be just sex.  
  
The difference right now is that it isn’t just about sex. This is about jealousy, it’s about Geno. It’s about Alex’s insecurities and his need to be the center of attention. It’s about showing Alex that he’s loved and can’t be replaced, will never be replaced as far as Sasha’s concerned.  
  
“He’s a fucking clown,” Alex growls, “Fucking-”  
  
Sasha cuts him off with his tongue- sliding it against Alex’s until Alex is kissing back and he’s being led in the general direction of the bed, lets himself fall when the backs of his knees hit the mattress and Alex is hovering over him like a heavy shadow.  
  
“Want you, only you,” Sasha says, “Don’t make me wait...”  
  
Their clothes come off quick, ending up on the floor somewhere and it doesn’t matter because it’s skin on skin, Alex’s chest sliding against his back and they’re both on their knees, Alex’s arms around his torso keeping Sasha from pitching forward. Sasha’s thighs quiver, his knees sliding further apart with every solid thrust of Alex’s hips- driving deeper and deeper until Sasha is choking on air- reaching back and burying his fingers in Alex’s hair. He turns his head, seeking Alex’s lips with his and they don’t really kiss, but Alex licks at his mouth, bites at his jaw and neck, makes him cry out when he ups the pace.  
  
“Alex, I can’t-” Sasha whimpers, hands searching and grabbing at Alex’s hips as he loses what little balance he had to begin with.  
  
Alex understands and he slows, letting Sasha down gently until his hands are pressed firmly into the sheets, back arched and taut.  
  
“You’re mine,” Alex says, hands gliding along Sasha’s back and he pushes him down to his elbows, “This is mine.”  
  
It’s dangerous talk and they both know it, but it doesn’t stop Sasha from grinding back against him, itching for more contact, anything- everything.  
  
“Please,” Sasha begs, “I’m yours, don’t stop-”  
  
He has to throw his arm forward, palm flat against the headboard to keep from being slammed against it because Alex is fucking him now- hard and fast and it’s so deep Sasha can feel it all the way in his throat and he’s yelling without knowing what he’s saying, yelling until his throat is raw and he doesn’t even know when Alex reached between his thighs, but he’s coming too hard to keep his eyes open because he’s blacking out a little and he has enough sense about him to keep his elbow locked so he doesn’t go careening into the headboard.  
  
Sasha can feel it when Alex comes, hot inside him and Alex doesn’t make any sound because he’s biting hard at Sasha’s shoulder, marking him again and his hypersensitive body is turning that pain into pleasure.  
  
Keeping from passing out is difficult, especially once Alex is rolling them over, turning Sasha so they’re face to face and the jealousy is gone now, replaced by gentle kisses and quiet _I love you_ ’s.

  


**X x X x X**

  
The hangover is more than just bad- it’s an all encompassing pain that starts in his calves and goes all the way to the far reaches of his brain and everything hurts so much he can’t really breathe. Of course, it doesn’t help that Alex is practically crushing him, his dead weight sprawled halfway on his body and it takes him a second to register why his neck hurts as much as it does and it’s like a slow burn until he remembers how angry Alex was last night.  
  
Sasha buries his face into the pillow to mask a groan of frustration, wondering how the hell he’s going to hide the mark on his neck because he went and examined it in the bathroom last night before passing out and it wasn’t pretty.  
  
He burrows his way out from under Alex, biting back a curse when the blood rushes to his extremities, numb from having been pinned beneath more than two hundred pounds of ridiculous. Getting out of bed is just a matter of putting his feet on the floor, but standing up draws a long hiss from him and he grits his teeth when he has to shift his weight around. It draws attention to the pain in his thighs- they’re sore and that isn’t even taking into consideration the tense muscles in his lower back.  
  
Sasha knows from experience that a hot shower goes a long way in regards to hangovers and he hobbles his way down the hall of their suite, walking on the balls of his feet once he reaches the cold, white tiles of the bathroom.  
  
He allows himself to enjoy the hot water, washing away all the soreness from the night before. It's the perfect cure for everything and Sasha doesn't even know how long he's been standing in the hot stream when he hears the bathroom door creak.  
  
The shower curtain opening, rough enough to make the collected water splash and fly all over the place, makes Sasha jump and Alex is standing in the bathroom, phone in hand and expression angry.  
  
“Why is he texting you?” Alex asks and he’s trying to hide just how mad he is, but it shows in his voice.  
  
Sasha is at a complete loss. He assumes just by Alex’s reaction that he’s talking about Geno- no one else gets this sort rise from Alex.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sasha says slowly, “We’ve got lots of mutual friends Alex, it would have been easy for him to-”  
  
“He called you babe, Sasha,” Alex growls, “He’s hitting on you.”  
  
This side of Alex is one Sasha wouldn’t mind living without- the jealousy. He’d hoped it would have receded back into one of the darker corners of Alex’s mind, but with Sasha’s luck, it’s impossible.  
  
“I’m not interested in him, he’s obviously just trying to piss you off. And besides, he’s going to forget about this as soon as the season starts again.” Sasha wraps his arms around himself, teeth started to clatter a bit. “It’s just summer drama, it’ll pass.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I get the picture,” Alex says. He’s still agitated, but he sets the phone down by the sink. His attention shifts from his paranoia to Sasha easily after that and soon, he’s looking Sasha up and down, eyes darkening. “Want company?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
Sasha breathes a sigh of relief when Alex steps in because the shower curtain closes behind him, thankfully ending the cold draft which had sent him into a fit of shivers. Alex’s embrace is a welcome luxury and Sasha lets himself be kissed and loved and this is what he wanted in the morning- something sweet. Until Alex just can’t keep his mouth shut.  
  
“You think I don’t know what you want, Sasha? What you need?” Alex asks, grinding their hips together and licking at the deep red mark on Sasha’s neck. “He’s going to think twice when he sees-- Sasha?”  
  
Untangling himself from Alex is difficult, but Sasha manages it without tripping on his way out of the shower and he slings a towel around his hips, keeping his gaze trained to the floor. He wants to say something rude, to point out that Alex has a way of ruining moments the same as Geno, but he reserves himself to just one simple statement.  
  
“I think you don’t know when to stop.”


	2. The Temptation Has Existed

**II. The Temptation Has Existed**

  
“Where’s Alex?”  
  
Sasha doesn’t have to turn around and look to know it’s Geno standing behind him. He also lacks the energy to dislodge the hands that come to rest on his back, massaging gently at his sore muscles.  
  
“I’m not his keeper,” Sasha replies, sounding more tired than bitter. “It’s got nothing to do with you.”  
  
Geno’s arms wrapping around his middle are far more comforting than they should be, especially since they’re in public and there are people that _know_ Alex at the bar. The last thing Sasha wants is some sort of scandal but after last night, he isn’t really sure anything he does will have an impact on the tempest brewing between his lover and Geno.  
  
It doesn’t matter whether he talks to Geno or not, whether or not they have a friendly drink together at the bar, because Alex will always find something to get upset about.  
  
“You don’t look like you don’t care, Sasha,” Geno says and his chin comes to rest on Sasha’s shoulder. “You’re a bad liar.”  
  
Sasha bristles when Geno's fingers brush along the red spot on his neck. They both know what it means, all of the implications, but Geno isn't dense enough to bring it up. Or at least, Sasha hopes he isn't that clueless.  
  
“I might be lying,” Sasha replies, flagging down one of the bartenders and trying to ignore how close Geno’s getting to him, “But at least I’m making an effort.”  
  
Geno doesn’t have a chance to respond because the bartender, a young guy who’s been slipping Sasha free drinks every here and there all night, arrives and Sasha’s leaning over and ordering a round of drinks for the both of them.  
  
“I don’t need a drink,” Geno says once the kid is gone, “Unless they were both for you, in which case I’ll take one.”  
  
It’s presumptuous of him, but Sasha likes that in Geno. It’s one of those qualities that Geno pulls off perfectly. In Alex, it just makes him seem like an asshole. Not that Sasha’s spent a lot of time comparing them- that simply wouldn’t be proper. But right now he’s too drunk to really care and he’s got no problem drawing parallels between them, noting the way Geno keeps his attention focused on him rather than straying to the half naked women dancing on stage.  
  
“Very funny,” Sasha says, hiding a small smile behind his hand, “Why are you here?”  
  
“I could ask you the same thing.” Geno is quick with his comeback and Sasha resents it. “Shouldn’t Alex be with you? He’s like a dog, following you around. Must be hard never being alone. I bet he calls all the time.”  
  
There’s a vague line between playfully presumptuous and unacceptable and Geno is tiptoeing that line right now. He’s getting dangerously close to pissing Sasha off, in fact- not because he’s going out of his way to be rude, but because what he’s saying is true.  
  
“Why are you here?” he repeats dryly and this time he wants an answer- none of that evasive bullshit.  
  
“I should think the answer to that would be obvious.”  
  
The bartender comes back and places two drinks in front of them. Sasha digs a large bill out of his pocket and slides it across to the kid with a wink and the gesture doesn’t go unnoticed.  
  
“I’m here because you’re here. Because I miss you.” Geno finally takes a seat next to Sasha and collects one of the drinks. “It didn’t used to be like this.”  
  
This again. This is an old argument, one that Sasha isn’t particularly fond of- even less so now that he, Geno, and Alex are all in the same city.  
  
“It’s like this now,” Sasha says, taking a long drink from his glass, “It isn’t going to change just because you’re talking to me, and taunting Alex only makes it worse.”  
  
Geno has the decency to look slightly ashamed, but not enough to be convincing.  
  
“He saw the text?”  
  
“It was a stupid thing to do.”  
  
They sit in silence for a moment, drinking in the music and the darkness and they’re both completely fucked. They’ve always been fucked.  
  
“I’m sorry Sasha,” Geno says and Sasha almost doesn’t hear him. “It’s hard for me, you know that.”  
  
Sasha blames himself for this even though he knows it isn’t entirely his fault. The relationship between the three of them has always been so tense and it was always just a matter of time before everything went to hell and honestly? He’s surprised they all lasted as long as they did.  
  
He’s always been good about keeping Geno at arms distance until now.  
  
“Enough of this,” Geno suddenly says after downing the rest of his drink in one hard swallow, “Finish your drink. Let’s go.”  
  
When Geno drags him off his bar stool, Sasha thinks he’s about to be carried out of the bar. He is, after all, exceedingly drunk and under normal circumstances he wouldn’t drink this much without Alex around to take care of him. But Geno makes him feel safe for some reason and he has no problem allowing himself to be pulled through the thick crowd, presumably to the door.  
  
He’s genuinely surprised when Geno suddenly turns around to face him and suddenly there are hands resting on his hips and Geno’s swaying them both to the heavy beat. Dancing is unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome and now that he’s standing, all the alcohol is rushing to his head and dancing with Geno is actually kind of romantic.  
  
Alex doesn’t dance like Geno, he’s all hips and hands and they don’t really dance- they fuck with their clothes on until they’re both too frustrated to keep going. They always end up in the bathroom, rutting against each other in a stall that’s too small for comfort.  
  
But Geno is different, he’s smooth, gentlemanly. He lets Sasha choose the speed, the rhythm, takes him by the hand and spins him around every now and then and they laugh about that. Sasha laughs more when he’s with Geno, he’s happier and he feels sick- because it used to be like this with Alex before this dreadful thing between the three of them started pulling them to pieces.  
  
“I wish we had more time,” Geno says against Sasha’s neck, pulling his arms tighter around him. “I could fall in love with you.”  
  
Sasha’s too shocked to be angry and he has every right to be angry. They both know he’s with Alex- it isn’t fair to anyone involved to throw this kind of wrench into their relationship. The worst part is that Sasha has thought about this situation before. There’s always been something awkward and playful between them. Geno’s always been like that kid on the playground pulling Sasha’s hair and putting frogs in his desk.  
  
Falling for Geno isn’t really a question at this point. Sasha knows for a fact that he fell for him long, long ago. But he can’t let his feelings get in the way of his life- being with Geno would never work, not anymore. Not ever.  
  
“What are you saying?” Sasha bites back, “Don’t start with this again, Geno. It’s a waste of time.”  
  
The way Geno smiles at him makes Sasha nervous, but he remains pressed against Geno, swaying to the beat regardless.  
  
Dancing with him is more relaxing and enjoyable than it should be. He’s warm, like a human space heater and that’s through his clothes. The places where his skin is touching Sasha’s bare skin are unbelievably hot, but not uncomfortably so and Sasha finds himself leaning on Geno more than dancing with him and he could fall asleep like this- with his cheek resting on Geno’s shoulder and he isn’t drunk any more as much as he is tired.  
  
“You know what I mean. Come back to my room with me.”  
  
Sasha’s heart catches in his throat. He wasn’t expecting Geno to be so forward.  
  
“I can’t-” he mumbles out, pushing away from Geno harder than necessary.  
  
The world spins for a sickening moment and Sasha thinks he’s going to fall over because his feet feel like they’re made of concrete and the floor is inches away from his face when Geno’s pulling him back to his chest, arms wrapped protectively around him and they’re so close- if Sasha tilted his face just a little bit, they would be kissing.  
  
Sasha really wants to kiss Geno. He wants to know what he tastes like, and if he’s as good at kissing as Sasha’s imagined him to be.  
  
But the moment’s gone and Geno isn’t really in romance mood anymore, he just looks worried. All three of him.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
Sasha blinks a few times, his head still swimming and now there are only two Genos floating about in front of him, but that’s still one more than there are supposed to be.  
  
“I’m fine,” he finally says, “I’ll be fine.”  
  
Geno clicks his tongue skeptically, but his lips curve into that trademark goofy grin of his quickly.  
  
“You really do drink too much,” he scolds, tapping Sasha once on the nose. “Does Alex know you drink this much?”  
  
Sasha can do little more than scowl at him. How much he drinks is no one’s business, not Alex’s and certainly not Geno’s.  
  
“On the other hand, if you’re drunk it’s easier for me to take advantage.”  
  
Those words have a sobering effect on him and the two Geno heads become just one Geno coming a lot closer than he should be comfortable with and it hurts that their lips press together so briefly- he doesn’t even have the chance to reciprocate because Geno captures his lower lip in a kiss, tongue darting out and sliding against his skin ever so slightly before he’s pulling away again and Sasha should feel guilty for this, but he doesn’t. Not yet.  
  
“Why-”  
  
Geno presses his finger to Sasha’s lips and shakes his head, “Don’t ask. You won’t remember tomorrow anyway.”  
  
The night comes to a rolling end when Geno leads him slowly out of the club and hails a taxi and they’re back at Sasha’s hotel in a few minutes but Sasha doesn’t even remember getting in the taxi, much less getting out and walking wobbly to the elevator and pushing one of the buttons.  
  
Geno leaves him outside his door, presses the key card into his hand and says, “Do us both a favor and don’t tell Alex,” before leaning in and kissing him once on the cheek and again on the mouth. He pulls back long enough to eyeball the bruise on his neck, brows furrowing and he's obviously disturbed and Sasha's been hoping he won't say anything all night but this is the moment of truth.  
  
"Don't let him do that to you anymore," Geno says, leaning in one last time and kissing the spot, "It isn't attractive, Sasha. You're beautiful the way you are."  
  
He’s gone before Sasha can count to three and he’s smiling wide, knows his cheeks are flushed with both happiness and an awkward sort of arousal but he can’t acknowledge it. He isn’t supposed to acknowledge it.  
  
Alex isn’t in the room and Sasha figures he’s probably still partying somewhere and that’s perfectly fine. It makes stripping down to his underwear and falling into bed a lot easier. There will be questions tomorrow- lots of them. But they can just face that tomorrow. Or is it today already?


	3. Under the Surface

**III. Under the Surface**  
Alex isn’t in the room when Sasha wakes up.  
  
It’s nearly noon and in any other circumstances that in itself would probably explain why he’s no where to be found, but Sasha knows his lover better than that.  
  
The hangover today isn’t as bad as it was yesterday and he stretches into the pillows, kicking the sheets down to the bottom of the bed and arching like a cat on his back.  His stomach growls loudly, drawing attention to the fact that he hasn’t eaten for nearly twenty-four hours and he rolls over to grope around the bedside table for the hotel guide.  
  
It’s too late for breakfast, but the restaurant downstairs has a rather excellent selection of sandwiches that all sound delicious but probably taste like cardboard. It takes a few minutes of digging through the suitcase he still hasn’t bothered unpacking before he finds something remotely wearable and he steals a pair of Alex’s sandals on the way out.  
  
The elevator down to the lobby is thankfully devoid of life and Sasha makes a beeline to a corner table of the restaurant once he hits the lobby just to be sure he remains relatively unseen.  
  
Sasha’s halfway through a Mediterranean chicken and spinach sandwich when a kid pulls out the chair next to him and sits down. It take him a second to recognize him as the bartender from last night and he acknowledges him with a nod.  
  
“You left without paying last night.”  
  
Sasha chokes on his sandwich, both because of the realization that no- he really didn’t pay last night and because for a someone who looks like he’s fresh out of high school, this kid is awfully forward.  
  
“My apologies,” Sasha mumbles through a swallow and he isn’t _really_ sorry, but it would be unfortunate to get this kid fired. “Did I get you in trouble?”  
  
The kid shakes his head, amused. “No, the tip you gave me covered the entire thing.”  
  
Well that’s a relief, but still leaves Sasha wondering why the kid is talking to him if they don’t have unfinished business. It’s strange to simply talk to someone, especially since he’s obviously not a hockey player, or an athlete of any sort. Not to say he’s out of shape, he’s just really small and a bit too wiry and really, he reminds Sasha of himself a decade ago.  
  
He stares expectantly at the kid, waiting for something, anything and he must start to feel uncomfortable because he shifts around in his seat.  
  
“What’s your name?” Sasha finally asks just to break the silence.  
  
“Vadim,” he replies, “And you’re Alexander Semin, right?”  
  
Sasha laughs a little into his sandwich. “You sure about that? Maybe I just look like him.”  
  
“I’m not stupid,” Vadim says, sulky, “I know a famous hockey player when I see one.”  
  
“So you’re a fan?”  
  
Vadim smirks and it’s cute. He looks a bit like Geno because his nose is a little big and he’s so lanky and Sasha shouldn’t be playing along with this kid, he should just eat his sandwich and just go back to his room and wait for Alex but this is too much fun.  
  
“A little, I know a bit, if that’s what you mean,” he confesses, “My brother plays and for a while my parents were trying to make me join a team too.”  
  
Sasha knows all about being forced into things- hell, he probably wouldn’t be playing for the NHL if his parents hadn’t been so adamant about their baby boy, their only son, doing something with his life. He has that much of a parallel with Alex- the obligation of the sport. But Alex’s motivations have always been slightly different.  
  
“You still play?” Sasha asks.  
  
“Not really. I’m mostly just going to school.”  
  
Vadim’s features fall into a frown and he’s thinking about something, but he doesn’t say any more.  
  
The desire to ask for this kid’s number, his email address, anything to keep in touch with him is nagging in the back of Sasha’s mind because this is someone he can see himself talking to. Sure, the kid is young, but Sasha isn’t that old himself. Not in terms of years, anyhow.  
  
When Vadim speaks up again, Sasha figures it’s because the silence has gotten awkward, but the way he looks at him, his eyes dark and for a second he looks a lot older than he is, haunts him.  
  
“I’m just trying to find happiness,” he says, “I don’t want to be told what to do anymore, or what’s right for me by people who don’t even know me. But it’s whatever.”  
  
The darkness leaves and Vadim’s back to leaning forward in his seat and peering at Sasha with curious eyes.  
  
“You probably don’t have those kinds of problems.”  
  
Sasha snorts. “We all have those kinds of problems,” he says, thinking about Alex and Geno. “Some are just worse than others.”  
  
“I guess.”  
  
They sit in comforting silence for a few moments- until Vadim checks his phone and his eyes widen.  
  
“Crap, my break is over,” he says worriedly, already standing up and pushing his chair in, “I’ve gotta go- thanks for talking to me!”  
  
He’s gone before Sasha can say another word and once he’s alone, his sandwich really does taste like cardboard.

  


**X x X x X**

  
Alex is laying on the bed, still unmade, when he gets back to the room. He’s got the TV remote in hand and he’s flipping through channels lazily, stopping on the news for a few seconds before moving on to the Russian equivalent of shitty American reality shows.  
  
Sasha stands there watching him for a time, not knowing how to breach the topic of last night and he doesn’t even know if Alex wants to talk about last night, except he wouldn’t be Alex if he didn’t want to talk about last night.  
  
“Did you sleep with him?” Alex asks and it’s obvious just by his tone that he’s expecting the worst.  
  
“Good afternoon to you too. And no, I didn’t.” Sasha replies truthfully Alex seems to accept it, laying back on the pillows and staring up at the ceiling.  
  
“Did you want to?”  
  
The second question is more unexpected. Sasha doesn’t know what to say or how to react- if he should get angry or lie or even if he can live with himself lying because yes, he did want to sleep with Geno. He still wants to sleep with Geno and there’s not much keeping him from it at this point, not if Alex is going to keep acting like a child.  
  
But Sasha doesn’t want to ruin things with Alex. He values their relationship too much to fuck it up over a half a decade of repressed stupidity.  
  
He’s been quiet for too long and he needs to give an answer, anything will do and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is probably the worst excuse he could possibly give.  
  
“I was drunk.”  
  
He has to work not to react when Alex narrows his eyes, inches away from making this into a big deal and Sasha doesn’t want this to be a big deal. He just want to pretend this never happened, wants to go back to America or Krasnoyarsk or anywhere that isn’t here because Geno is here and it confuses him. It’s been confusing him for years.  
  
“That isn’t an answer,” Alex says, turning off the TV and sitting up, “Do you want him, Sasha?”  
  
“It isn’t that simple,” he replies, “Alex- Don’t look at me like that, I wouldn’t do something like that to you.”  
  
The sad thing is that Sasha isn’t sure he believes it anymore- the idea of being faithful. He never thought he’d be the one having issues with fidelity, but lo and behold. His throat dries up and he shifts from one foot to the other, unsure of how to proceed and he’s pretty sure he’s gonna have a bruise on his lip from where he’s chewing it so hard.  
  
“What can I do to prove it to you?” Sasha asks and he feels like he’s grasping at straws for all Alex is paying attention. “Tell me, what can I-”  
  
“Do whatever you want,” he says, facing away from Sasha, “I don’t care anymore.”  
  
His reaction is halfway between overly melodramatic and completely justified and Sasha wants to avoid any extra bullshit at this point, so he swallows the first abrasive retort that springs to mind in favor of something a little softer.  
  
He toes off his shoes and pads over to the bed, reaching over and resting his hand on Alex’s arm for a second before sliding in behind him. Alex tenses a bit when he wraps an arm around his waist and Sasha’s heart skips a single painful beat when he thinks Alex is going to pull away, but they both relax under the soft touch.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Sasha murmurs, pressing his lips to Alex’s shoulder, “I didn’t want this to happen.”  
  
Alex rolls over to face him, looking hurt and vulnerable and Sasha wishes he’d never met Geno because this is the real Alex right here. It isn’t the loud, know-it-all rock star hockey player from Russia with that devil may care attitude, this is a real human being.  
  
He doesn’t say anything for the longest time and Sasha finds himself sinking into Alex’s eyes- so blue they look like water and he can’t fight the urge to lean in and kiss him. He’s too shocked to say anything when Alex turns his face evasively and sits up- it hurts more than he cares to admit.  
  
“Where are you going?” Sasha asks and he thinks Alex is just going to the bathroom- until he starts putting on his shoes and looking for a shirt.  
  
Then he sits up in bed and asks again, “Alex. Where are you-?”  
  
“Out. I’ll be back later.”  
  
Alex lets the door slam shut behind him and Sasha isn’t sure what hurts more- the piercing emptiness of being left alone or that he can hardly bring himself to care anymore.


	4. Fall From Grace

  


IV. Fall From Grace

  
A week passes and Sasha thinks this must be the most painfully awkward and slow week of his life because Alex does not know how to let things go. It doesn’t particularly help that Geno has taken to texting him incessantly every single day and Sasha can pretend that Alex doesn’t notice, but the only person he’s fooling is himself.  
  
Oddly enough, the only person to put Sasha at ease as of late has been Vadim and after discovering he works the hotel restaurant most nights, he’s found himself sitting at the bar more often than not when Alex isn’t around. It wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t getting comfortable enough to start talking about things better left unsaid.  
  
“So you’re cheating on her?” Vadim’s eyebrow raises slightly, “I never thought you were the player type, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”  
  
It takes Sasha a moment to realize the bartender is joking and he sighs. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” Sasha groans, putting his head down on the bar, “I shouldn’t be telling anyone.”  
  
Vadim laughs, a soft bubbling sound and Sasha can’t help but giggle along with him a little, but it might just be the liquor taking a hold on him. That’s another thing spending time with Vadim has helped him with- his alcohol consumption. And although he’s been getting better about not drinking like a fish, tonight has been particularly trying on him.  
  
“Stay faithful,” Vadim says, picking up the half full glass of vodka on ice from the bar and replacing it with water, “You’ll be thankful if you just stick it out.”  
  
The kid’s right, but it doesn’t make swallowing the medicine much easier.  
  
“Or if you do like this other girl so much, why don’t you move closer to her?”  
  
Well that’s a funny thought- just up and move. Goodbye team. It almost sounds like a good idea.  
  
“Can’t,” Sasha grumbles back, face still pressed up against the bar, “I’ve got a contract in Washington.”  
  
“Then get Jenya to move, or break it off with your girlfriend,” Vadim shoots off his next suggestion like it’s even easier for Geno to just up and leave his team than it is for Sasha to do the same and sure, he doesn’t have the slightest idea they’re talking about other hockey players but that just makes it a little more difficult to hold back a snorting laugh.  
  
“He can’t leave Pittsbu- her home either. Work. And Alex would-”  
  
Sasha knows he’s made a mistake with that one- it’s just too suspicious, an idiot could put two and two together and his blood runs cold as he hopes that Vadim didn’t catch his slip, but the corner of the kid’s mouth is twitching up into a smirk and Sasha kind of wants to die. He blames the alcohol for his looseness of tongue and makes a silent, but firm, vow never to touch the stuff in such excess again.  
  
They look at each other, their dark eyes meeting and for a moment Sasha thinks Vadim’s going to call him out, but he reaches over and puts his hand on Sasha’s.  
  
“I won’t tell, I promise.”  
  
Sasha can’t bear to sit at the bar much longer after that and he excuses himself once he’s finished his glass of water and he figures Vadim will understand because Vadim just has a way of understanding everything and it would be weird if it wasn’t so comforting.  
  
He barely makes it out into the lobby before his phone is ringing in his pocket. It’s an invitation out to dinner, courtesy of Geno, and Sasha takes a good ten minutes of just staring at the screen of his phone before he finally texts back to ask for a location and time knowing full well this can only end with someone getting hurt.

  


**X x X x X**

  
Sasha can’t really take comfort in knowing he’s right about every bad feeling he’s ever gotten around Geno.  
  
Dinner is regrettably good, great even and Sasha’s wishing something had gone wrong just for an excuse to run away, but instead they’re standing side by side on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, close enough that the backs of their hands are brushing together and Sasha knows what happens next in these scenarios.  
  
He can see it in his mind- how he goes back to Geno’s hotel for a nightcap and they flirt harmlessly at the bar for an hour or so. Then Geno tells him how beautiful he is, how much he deserves to be loved and how his eyes capture all the light in the room. Sasha ends up going to Geno’s room with the understanding that this is just a safety precaution- they’re not going to sleep together, it just isn’t safe for him to go home alone at this time.  
  
One thing leads to another and they tumble into bed together and it’s fun while it lasts, but the morning brings the sun and guilt and hatred and bitterness and Sasha can’t deal with even the thought of infidelity in his current state. He doesn’t want to think about tomorrow before he’s ever even kissed Geno, when they’re doing nothing more than just standing together and he’s too conflicted to perform something as simple as breathing right now.  
  
He should want to go to his own room, to the bed he shares with Alex because Alex knows him- they know each other and they’re in love. He shouldn’t want to go with Geno, shouldn’t have even come out with him to begin with.  
  
The taxi comes and Sasha’s stomach is twisting into knots, but when Geno reaches over and threads their fingers together some of the darkness whirling around in his head fades.  
  
“Spend the night with me.”  
  
Geno’s looking out the window when he makes his offer, the flashing red and white lights of Moscow dancing on his face and when he turns to Sasha, eyes nearly black and his mouth is so perfect- Sasha likes it better when he smiles.  
  
He doesn’t say yes, but he doesn’t say no either. He tightens his grip on Geno’s hand just a little bit, nods his head once in a quick jerk and then Geno’s leaning in and asking the taxi driver to take them straight to his hotel.  
  
They’re still holding hands on the way to the elevator and once the door closes Geno’s pressing his lips to Sasha’s neck and telling him, “Don’t worry, it’s just once, I promise-” and that somehow makes everything just a bit more difficult because he’s drawing parallels in his mind again between him and Alex and he needs to stop- nothing good will come of it, not for Sasha and certainly not for his rapidly declining relationship with the only person he’s ever been able to truly been in love with.  
  
Sasha doesn’t believe him for even a second. It’s the exact same thing he was planning to say, after all. Something like, ‘ _Just once, never again and Alex doesn’t need to know. One time._ ’  
  
Geno has the decency to let Sasha toe off his shoes before leading him over to the bed and then, kissing Geno is like trying to kiss colored smoke- visible and tempting but impossible to catch.  
  
With every bit of clothing removed, Geno is worshiping his skin with soft kisses and low murmurs and Sasha knows he’s being seduced in a way only Geno can do it. It’s like being at the very beginning of a relationship all over again and that’s what this is- the beginning of something new- and Alex was never quite this tender. It was always a rushed affair with him, rough touches and secret meetings and Sasha isn’t sure how he put up with all of Alex’s bullshit in the beginning but it’s the only way he knew how to make it work.  
  
When Geno turns him onto his stomach and plants a hand firmly between his shoulder blades, Sasha gets up on his knees the best he can manage and braces himself for the worst. The last time he was in this position, Alex was mad at him and they’ve slept together since then, but it hasn’t quite been what Sasha would describe as tender.  
  
The first touch of Geno’s tongue on the small of his back makes him jolt away because he isn’t expecting to be treated like more than just a fuck when it should be just a fuck. He’s got feelings for Geno and they run much deeper than he’s willing to explore, but he’s trying hard not to let that part of him spill over into what they’re doing and it would be nice if Geno wasn’t trying his hardest to make Sasha fall even harder for him by treating him like he deserves this.  
  
“You don’t want to?” Geno asks, pressing his lips to Sasha’s skin, his thumbs massaging gentle circles on the backs of his thighs.  
  
“No- it’s not, I do- I just-” Sasha stumbles over the words. He can feel his face turning red and he’s glad he’s facing away from Geno because this is embarrassing. “It’s fine, you surprised me.”  
  
Geno laughs and the sound somehow makes everything better.  
  
The next time his tongue meets skin, it’s closer to his destination but still manages to be little more than just a tease.  
  
Sasha grips the sheets with his hands, his teeth clamping down on the pillow and he’s rolling his hips back steadily into Geno’s mouth because this feels good- it feels better than good- it’s like being fucked without being fucked and it’s so hot and that’s Geno’s fucking tongue rubbing at his insides.  
  
When Geno pulls back and asks, “You like it?” Sasha kind of wants to scream and he nods his head furiously.  
  
“Don’t stop,” he says and he doesn’t care if he sounds desperate at this point, “Keep going.”  
  
“Don’t sound so needy,” Geno murmurs back, licking once more at his exposed entrance and eliciting a shaky moan. “I wanna take my time with you.”  
  
Apparently taking his time means teasing him relentlessly and his teeth scrape along Sasha’s spine, making his hair stand on end and his nails claw at the sheets. Fingers press into his body and Sasha moans quietly into the sheets, his own teeth cutting into his lip and Geno’s tongue drags along the back of his neck.  
  
“Let go,” he says, twisting his fingers and Sasha lets out a choked gasp, “I want to hear you.”  
  
Sasha cries out in earnest when Geno starts grinding the pads of his fingers into that one spot and it’s fire all the way up to his throat- pleasure that cuts into his skin like a knife and he’s never been happier to bite down so hard on the back of his own hand because it isn’t Geno’s name spilling from his lips- it’s Alex’s.  
  
For a moment he thinks that Geno hears- his heart jumps to his throat and he feels like he’s going to be sick, but then Geno’s back to kissing his neck and he’s fingering at Sasha’s balls and the head of his dick and Sasha’s never felt guiltier.  
  
Geno insists on being face to face for the actual deed and Sasha thinks that maybe that’s what pushes him over the edge in a bad way. Once they’re snug against each other and Geno’s hands are gliding under his thighs, lifting his hips- it doesn’t feel like Alex, it’s all Sasha can do to croak out- “Wait-” and everything becomes still.  
  
“Sasha?” Geno whispers, “Are you okay?”  
  
Sasha shifts, closing his eyes tight and maybe if he can’t see Geno this will be okay because he wants it so badly- he wants to be loved and told he’s beautiful and Geno’s giving it to him and he means it, but now every time he looks at him, all he can see are Alex’s eyes and-  
  
“I can’t,” Sasha replies harshly, “I can’t do it.”  
  
Geno’s face falls and he’s so obvious in his attempt to smile, but the disappointment is painful to look upon. He sits back on his haunches and swallows hard.  
  
“I- Are you crying?”  
  
Sasha turns his head away and he isn’t crying, but his cheeks are wet and the guilt is eating him alive.  
  
“No,” he chokes out, “I just need a minute.”  
  
But Geno doesn’t give him a minute. He’s rolling off him and curling up against his side, telling him it’s okay and they don’t have to do this, he won’t think any less of him if they just stop now and he’s making things worse by being so nice because Sasha doesn’t want nice. He wants Geno to force him a little more, to push him or coerce him or something because then he can tell Alex later- “ _He made me do it, it wasn’t just me. I would never do this to you-_ ”  
  
Things don’t work like that though and even though he falls asleep warm with Geno’s long arms around him, he can’t shake the feeling that he’s just made the worst mistake of his life.


End file.
